1991 - 1993
Bully: Smarlene Loveless
Food chain position: Chief Financial Officer
Achilles Heel: She wanted to desparately belong. She spun a web of being your colleague with the appearance of tantamount confidence and seemingly helping you every step of the way, in developing your career.
Modus Operandi: Draws you in by building you up.
Profile: She carried her middle aged, but strikingly beautiful body at 6' 2" with an over powering confidence that would engulf anyone to bow down before her. She had a killer personality that could make anyone (below or above her) feel good about themselves. Initially being around her would make anyone commit [company wise] purjury, murder someone or just plain cut someone's throat to champion her agenda.
Food chain: Myself and 2 other key administrative operational managers reported directly to her.
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Fast forward: One day, her secretary told me Smarlene made her so crazy, she [the secratary] would smoke 10 cigarettes in the dark in her apartment evey evening. The kicker was, the secretary was not a smoker, per se.
Rewind: The first 2 weekly 1 on 1 meetings I had with Smarlene drew some serious interest from other staff. Each time I exited her office, there were staff milling around her office for some unexplainable reason. On the 3rd weekly departure from Smarlene's office I asked the staff, hanging around her office "what's the deal with all of you being around whenever I have a meeting with Smarlene?" One person spoke up by saying "you are the only manager Smarlene does not scream and yell at during her staff meeting". We have been curious as to why she doesn't yell at you". I told them "there will be no yelling. I have schooled Smarlene on that subject at our first reporting meeting".
I told Smarlene "if you are angry at something I did or have not done by your specificaions, you're entitled to be angry at my results. Do not scream or yell at me. I expect to be treated as a person, with respect. I will treat you with respect. If you ever yell or scream at me, I will terminate our conversation until you have had time to relax and rethink your approach with the issue. I respect you and you will respect me as a human being". Smarlene was obviously taken aback by my statement as she knew she had not done anything for my statement to be presented. Of course, she agreed with me. My statement was thinking long term, as I quickly sized up what type of relationship she intended to have with me.
She continued to yell and lambaste the other mangaers, but not me. Smarlene and I had a great business relationship. She got what she wanted from me and she gave me what I wanted. Respect 101.
Moral of the Story?
Preempt a bully strike, before they strike you down. No human being should allow another human being to scream or yell at them - EVER. Once you start allowing a person stick their hand in the cookie jar of your self worth, they will continue sticking their hand in the cookie jar.
Fear feeds people a steady diet of mediocrity. You are what you eat.
Copyright (c) C. E. Reid 2005
